Eli's Birth Story

 It all began at 4am on Monday, April 27th.  After about 20 minutes of anxious sleep, I woke to call the hospital to see if they had room to induce me.  She told me that they definitely could not get to me at 5am but to call back at 6 to see if they would be able to get me in at 7.  So I had to try to go back to bed for 2 more hours.  Ha!  After reading everyone's Facebook status for the past 3 days and fooling around on the internet on my iphone in bed it was finally 6am.  I called and the nurse said, "yep, come on in at 7!".  ACK!  

So I ran to the shower and started getting ready.  I have never felt such exhilaration.  I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore and the thought of finally holding that baby was so exciting.  I had no idea what was ahead of me!  We got to the hospital 15 minutes late and I was terrified that they were going to tell me they had to reschedule but they didn't... I got a room right away and a very sweet nurse.  I got dressed in the fabulous designer hospital  gown that was made for someone being admitted for gastric bypass surgery.  I'll admit I was big but man that thing would not stay on me.  It didn't help that it was missing a snap.  I requested another one.  I'm really glad I did because I wound up spending a lot of time in that thing.  Anyhoo, they hooked me up to all kinds of machines and started the pitocin to start my labor.  Around 3pm I got my epidural.  I am still totally in love with that man!  lol What a wonderful relief!  So for the next couple of hours I didn't feel a thing! 

Fast forward to 9pm that night... after watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua lol I was in agony.  I couldn't progress past a 9.5 and wasn't going to... I spent the next few hours that way feeling everything through the epidural.  They kept making me lay on my right side which would hurt so bad.  All I wanted to do was sit up and no one would let me.  By 10:30pm I knew for sure there was no way he was going to come out that way.  I wanted my doctor but the nurse kept going... you know what he's going to say... he's going to tell you C-Section.  I kept telling everyone that I couldn't.  Of course everyone tells a woman that close... yes you can!!  You're strong!! You can do it!  I'm thinking to myself... Omg we're both going to die because no one will believe me!  lol  They left me with David and turned out the lights and moved everyone into the hall.  That was when I had a complete nervous breakdown.  I was bawling to him and telling him that I wanted to go home!  lol He kept telling me that wasn't an option.  Finally Sarah came in and I think I was finally able to convince her to get the doctor!  

When Dr. Moore came in he checked me and said... oh no this is not happening this way.  I agreed.  So from then till we had a baby was about all of 10 minutes.  As soon as I gave my consent, it seemed like all hell broke loose.  Nurses are rushing in and the anastethiologist came in and gave me the good drugs.  Before I knew it, ceiling tiles were rushing past my head.  Minutes later they were pulling out my baby!  It was really surreal and not the way I would have had it at all.  I was on morphine and wasn't able to hold Eli for about an hour after he was born.  I got to see him for about a minute before David took him back to our room were all the family were able to see him and love on him while I laid on a table being sewn back up.  My hands were numb and when I looked to my right side I saw a big bucket of my blood.  LOL 

In the end though, I was able to hold the most precious little boy on Earth.  I spent so many hours of my pregnancy worrying about having a C-section and how to prevent it.  Now I realize that even though it wasn't ideal, it was ok and now just a memory.  I'm already wishing everyday would last just a little longer so I can hold on to these fleeting moments for just a little longer.  I can't believe the whole ordeal is behind me and it's over.  It almost feels like it was just a dream!  

I will say all of this has made me a softy... and pretty much anything can make me cry.  I know it's the hormones so don't get too used to my new personality.  I'll be back soon.  lol  All I know in this moment is that this is the best thing I've ever done and the most important thing I will ever accomplish in my life.  It's really crazy how it changes your life in an instant.  

Our new family of three

Nursery Pics!

So the nursery and bedding got finished before Eli got done cooking... ok ok so most things got done before he's gotten done... I'm pretty sure the only thing left is world peace...  Anyway, here are the pics!  

His reading nook...

Crib and his name! 

Fabulous bedding I waited so long on!  (Thanks Grandma Cox!)

Door hanging by Aunt Roo!

Cute Quilt!

Beautiful furniture!  Thanks again Grandma Cox!

And the main focal point of the room! 

Things to do while waiting on baby.

I thought I should make a list of things I can do while I wait for Monday to arrive.  Maybe if I finish the list before Monday, he'll decide to come early. 

Ha... freaking... Ha. 

1.  Wrap the whole mattress in a plastic paint drop and put the sheet back on.  (What?! I'm still hopeful my water might break!)

2.  Find a trampoline... Jump... possibly do flips.

3.  Play chicken while doing my 3 mile hike around the neighborhood.  Hilarious how scared people get of a ginormous pregnant woman.  Ok Ok so I haven't walked the neighborhood since this time last year but I bet people would swerve with fear in their eyes.

4.  Clean underneath all the beds.  

5.  Yell for David to come pick me up off the floor when I realize I'm way too big to fit under the bed.

6.  Unwrap the plastic from the mattress after realizing how loud it is for a beached whale to turn over on plastic.

7.  Put various things on my stomach, cough, and see how far they fly.

8.  Try to put on some "skinny" jeans that I was too fat for before I even got pregnant.

9.  Get stuck in skinny jeans and fall on the floor.

10.  Clean the grout on the floor while I'm down there.  

11.  Call David to pick me up and get the ridiculous pants off of me 2 minutes later when I realize I have to pee.

12.  Take a shower until the hot water runs out and then lie on the floor to wait for it to heat back up.

13.  Reassure David I'm not dead when he finds me there curled up naked and asleep on the shower floor hours later.

14.  Go to the mall to pick up guys. 

15.  Drop kick the stupid teenager that calls me a fat old lady when I wink at him. 

16.  Buy 4 different ice cream cones at the mall for comfort after getting called fat.  

17.  Eat all of the ice cream and order a chocolate shake to wash it down.

18.  Get on the Wii Fit so I can declare revenge in a couple of weeks when I've lost a dramatic amount of weight.

19.  Throw the Wii Fit at the wall when it calls me fat... for the upteenth time this pregnancy.

20.  See a therapist.  

5 things I've experienced during pregnancy

Me on the beach in Galveston this weekend.  30 weeks pregnant!

Here are some things I've experienced on this crazy ride called pregnancy!

1.  Pregnancy brain

I've heard that you forget things when you're pregnant.  It has something to do with the hormones and such.  Who knew how it would affect someone who was already forgetful to begin with.  I've never been good at remembering anything... including major events that I definitely should remember.  I knew I was in trouble when I first learned of "pregnancy brain".  The evidence of its existence is this classic moment:

I lost my keys.  I was grabbing a Dr Pepper as I headed out the door... (yeah yeah caffeine is killing my baby and such) and I grabbed my purse and where are my car keys?  Not on the key peg...  Not on the coffee table... not in the kitchen... not on the bar... not in the pile of miscellaneous junk I just poured out of my purse... Fast forward 30 minutes.  My Dr Pepper is empty and I'm stressed and late.  I go to get another DP (insert your caffeine warnings here) and Lo and Behold my keys... IN THE REFRIGERATOR.  

2.  The cravings.  I just ate a whole bag of steamed vegetables.  That's like a pound of vegetables.  I topped it off with orange sherbert and a handful of Oreo cookies.  And OH MAN I would love some sour gummy worms right now...

3.  Emotions.  A couple of weeks ago I needed a nap.  I hadn't slept well the last couple of nights and I was just completely exhausted.  After church on Sunday I decided I needed a nap.  No problem.  I hopped into bed and was nearly asleep when I hear the door squeak open.  David decides he's going to nap too.  He fumbles around for a little bit and then gets into bed, tossing and turning the sheets as he goes.  As he settles, I realize I'm completely awake.  He begins to snore.  I'm livid.  As I'm thinking of the many cruel and unusual ways I could torture him I begin to dream about it and alas... sweet slumber.  

Enter Gus.  The dog.  The blasted dog that sleeps 90% of his life.  He finds a good and crunchy pig's ear and begins to crunch it as loudly as possible right near my head.  This is where pregnancy enters.  I sit up with tears already streaming down my face.  I throw my pillow at the wall.  I wail... I have a complete nervous breakdown complete with crying at the top of my lungs and massive amounts of snot.  I realize I'm being a 2 year old and I can't quit.  The hormones have completely taken over.  Thank God I have a saint for a husband... he quiets me and I get the nap I needed.  

4.  The gas.  We bought a leather recliner the other day.  While I was laying in it I *tooted*...  David whips his head around and goes... did you just RIP THE RECLINER.  Yeah... it's that loud... it's that nasty... it's just not a pretty part of it.

5.  Sex.  I won't go into detail but I'll give you a homework assignment.  If you want to know what sex is like pregnant.  Get a beach ball and duct tape that to your belly... cut a hole in the side and insert a live ferret and tape back over the opening.  Then find your honey and get it on.  It's an fun adventure that's probably quite humorous to watch. 

  

It's a Boy!

Yesterday was our latest sonogram and I must say one of the most exciting days of my life!  We found out that our little "it" is a little "he"!  It's such a relief to know it's a boy and that everything is ok.  We got to see all the important parts like the brain and the 4 chambers of the heart.  Our doctor says everything is going perfectly for now.  The pictures are sort of hard to make out if you don't know what you're looking at but I thought I would post them anyway!  :)  The first two are of the face and I added a hat to give you a head start on your deciphering! 

These are his baby legs!

This is a baby hand.  It's curved up like he's pointing to the top left corner.  The arrow is at his elbow. 

And this is David's favorite picture! :)

My belly!

A Thanksgiving Divorce

So today I braved Walmart the day before Thanksgiving.  I saw many things of interest like misbehaved children, fat women dressed in all white, and people buying strange mixes of things such as pregnancy tests and condoms.  Perhaps the most interesting thing I saw today though was the Man Who Got a Thanksgiving Divorce.

So you must picture this bewildered middle aged man.  He's pudgy and balding.  He's got a noticeable amount of underarm sweat saturating his shirt.  He's mumbling under his breath about the crowd, the ridiculousness of the Thanksgiving feast, and that he's missing something on TV.  He's clutching a two page shopping list like it's a life line between him and the front door.  The list is wrinkled but you can see the precise handwriting of his dear wife.  It's cursive, small and surely belongs to someone who knows her way around the grocery store.  

So after a full appraisal of this man, I notice it.  The reason that he will be back in Wal-mart way before he expected.  The reason he should give up on whatever show he's missing on TV and the reason that he should get out the sheets that fit the couch best.  There laying on top of his full basket of groceries is item #12 on his wife's list. 

12 lb Turkey.... Except all I see is about 12 packages of GROUND turkey.