Me on the beach in Galveston this weekend. 30 weeks pregnant!
Here are some things I've experienced on this crazy ride called pregnancy!
I've heard that you forget things when you're pregnant. It has something to do with the hormones and such. Who knew how it would affect someone who was already forgetful to begin with. I've never been good at remembering anything... including major events that I definitely should remember. I knew I was in trouble when I first learned of "pregnancy brain". The evidence of its existence is this classic moment:
I lost my keys. I was grabbing a Dr Pepper as I headed out the door... (yeah yeah caffeine is killing my baby and such) and I grabbed my purse and where are my car keys? Not on the key peg... Not on the coffee table... not in the kitchen... not on the bar... not in the pile of miscellaneous junk I just poured out of my purse... Fast forward 30 minutes. My Dr Pepper is empty and I'm stressed and late. I go to get another DP (insert your caffeine warnings here) and Lo and Behold my keys... IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
2. The cravings. I just ate a whole bag of steamed vegetables. That's like a pound of vegetables. I topped it off with orange sherbert and a handful of Oreo cookies. And OH MAN I would love some sour gummy worms right now...
3. Emotions. A couple of weeks ago I needed a nap. I hadn't slept well the last couple of nights and I was just completely exhausted. After church on Sunday I decided I needed a nap. No problem. I hopped into bed and was nearly asleep when I hear the door squeak open. David decides he's going to nap too. He fumbles around for a little bit and then gets into bed, tossing and turning the sheets as he goes. As he settles, I realize I'm completely awake. He begins to snore. I'm livid. As I'm thinking of the many cruel and unusual ways I could torture him I begin to dream about it and alas... sweet slumber.
Enter Gus. The dog. The blasted dog that sleeps 90% of his life. He finds a good and crunchy pig's ear and begins to crunch it as loudly as possible right near my head. This is where pregnancy enters. I sit up with tears already streaming down my face. I throw my pillow at the wall. I wail... I have a complete nervous breakdown complete with crying at the top of my lungs and massive amounts of snot. I realize I'm being a 2 year old and I can't quit. The hormones have completely taken over. Thank God I have a saint for a husband... he quiets me and I get the nap I needed.
4. The gas. We bought a leather recliner the other day. While I was laying in it I *tooted*... David whips his head around and goes... did you just RIP THE RECLINER. Yeah... it's that loud... it's that nasty... it's just not a pretty part of it.
5. Sex. I won't go into detail but I'll give you a homework assignment. If you want to know what sex is like pregnant. Get a beach ball and duct tape that to your belly... cut a hole in the side and insert a live ferret and tape back over the opening. Then find your honey and get it on. It's an fun adventure that's probably quite humorous to watch.
