Goliath the dead oak tree

I'm about fed up with Hurricane Ike.  Yes I know he's gone and never coming back but like a bad ex boyfriend I can't get his CRAP out of my life.  He had the audacity to knock over this enormous tree in my backyard.  Let me pause.

This tree was like a normal tree on crack.  This tree's mother was in so much pain when she delivered this tree she left him in Texas and took her butt back to California (aren't those where the trees you can drive through are?)  This tree was bigger than Goliath.  It's the world's biggest freaking tree.  If you were in my backyard before Ike and you saw this tree you'd go....Dang.  I hope that tree never falls down.  

But I digress.

This tree is now laying precariously on one large (tree size itself) limb and on my fence.  One more slight wind and the thing could roll over and take down more fence, my dog, your dog... whatever.  So I call the insurance company.  They said they will send someone out to write up the claim... adjust it if you will.  So one night, late late at night... after 10 I'm pretty sure, we get a call from the adjuster.  Way to do business already.  Professional.  He sets up an appointment and comes out last Wednesday.  He tells me.... DAMN that's a big tree.  

So he's like really smart obviously.

So he looks at it and says that it will be at least $2000 to get that tree cut down and taken off plus we can claim $500 for debris removal.  He never mentioned anything about the fence or how much that would cost to have fixed but I was about to puke on his shoes so I didn't really bring it up.  The main gist I got out of the conversation was to get quotes on everything and he would write the claim accordingly.  Ok great.   Let me know.  

So the next morning I had a Dr appt and I had to get Gus ready for the kennel because we were going to be staying in Houston that night for a going away ceremony for David's boss.  Then it was Saturday and then Sunday.  I'm thinking I will call for quotes on Monday.  I'm also thinking I'm doing OK on time management.  I mean I'm getting to it in the very next week and I am a HUGE procrastinator.   

Sunday night: 9:30pm

No kidding.  This dude calls and says.   You're deductible is $1700 and I adjusted your claim using the National average and we'll be sending you a check for $60.  

David was talking to him so I'm not totally sure what orifice he was told to stick the claim in but we were stunned.  He said we could go ahead and still get quotes and he'd be willing to reopen the case then.

OHHHH  we can "go ahead".  You jerk.  You heartless piece of crap that has no sense of time.  

I mean here's this guy who has not yet called during business hours basically accusing us of dropping the ball because we couldn't get several quotes for the massiveness that is the tree outside????  How long did he expect that would take?  I mean you would think he would give me a full week? 

So now I stare out my window wondering... How long does it take a tree to decompose?