A Thanksgiving Divorce

So today I braved Walmart the day before Thanksgiving.  I saw many things of interest like misbehaved children, fat women dressed in all white, and people buying strange mixes of things such as pregnancy tests and condoms.  Perhaps the most interesting thing I saw today though was the Man Who Got a Thanksgiving Divorce.

So you must picture this bewildered middle aged man.  He's pudgy and balding.  He's got a noticeable amount of underarm sweat saturating his shirt.  He's mumbling under his breath about the crowd, the ridiculousness of the Thanksgiving feast, and that he's missing something on TV.  He's clutching a two page shopping list like it's a life line between him and the front door.  The list is wrinkled but you can see the precise handwriting of his dear wife.  It's cursive, small and surely belongs to someone who knows her way around the grocery store.  

So after a full appraisal of this man, I notice it.  The reason that he will be back in Wal-mart way before he expected.  The reason he should give up on whatever show he's missing on TV and the reason that he should get out the sheets that fit the couch best.  There laying on top of his full basket of groceries is item #12 on his wife's list. 

12 lb Turkey.... Except all I see is about 12 packages of GROUND turkey.